Do not under any circumstances talk to my parrot

A woman`s dishwasher had stopped working, so she called a repairman. He couldn`t accommodate her with an evening appointment, and since she had to go to work the next day, she told him "I`ll leave the key under the mat. Fix the dishwasher, leave the bill on the counter, and I`ll mail you the check. By the way, don`t worry about my Rottweiler. He won`t bother you. But, whatever you do, do not under any circumstances talk to my parrot!" When the repairman arrived at her apartment the next day, he discovered the biggest and meanest looking Rottweiler he had ever seen. Like she had said, the dog just lay there on the carpet, watching the repairman go about his business. However, the whole time he was there, the parrot drove him nuts with its incessant squawking and talking. Finally the repairman couldn`t stand the parrot`s talking any longer and he told the bird to SHUT UP! The parrot replied, "Get him, Brutus!"

Zoo workers dress as gorillas to play mom to abandoned bab

Ohio - Some zoo workers in Cincinnati are wearing all-black outfits, grunting affectionately, and generally imitating mother gorillas to help the month-old baby adjust to a new home and get ready for a surrogate mother. Later, they will don hairy vests and carry baby Gladys on their backs, put on kneepads and gloves to move around like a gorilla, and they might knuckle-walk and climb a tree with baby on board. Even though some of Gladys` mamas have beards and moustaches, they are trying to give her a mother`s love, as much like a gorilla as they are able. They cuddle her, let her hang on them or squirm in their laps, lie down next to her and talk to her with different guttural sounds. More

Bold Bunnies Attacking Cars At Denver Airport

Colorado - Bunnies have been wreaking havoc on cars parked at Denver International Airport - eating spark plug cables and other wiring. The furry creatures have already caused thousands of dollars in damage as wildlife officials work to solve the problem. "I see at least dozens every morning," airport shuttle driver Michelle Anderson told KCNC-TV. "They go hide under the cars and the cars are warm." A spokesperson from an automotive service centre said the rabbits are chewing on the insulator section of the vehicles` ignition cables, which can lead to hefty repair bills. More

Gorilla protects boy from other gorillas at zoo

Jambo was a gorilla housed at the Jersey Zoo between 1972 and 1992. While gorillas can often be unpredictable and sometimes violent, Jambo became famous for an act of protection. On August 31, 1986, five-year-old Levan Merritt fell into the gorilla enclosure at the Jersey Zoo. The fall caused him to lose consciousness amongst the giant gorillas. Jambo stood guard over the boy, placing himself between Merritt and other gorillas in the enclosure. Jambo proceeded to stroke the back of the unconscious boy. When Merritt regained consciousness, he began to cry. The gorillas, including Jambo retreated in panic. Jambo lead them into their house. Thankfully, an ambulanceman and two zookeepers were able to rescue Merritt. More

15,000 crocodiles escape from farm

South Africa – 15,000 crocodiles escaped from a farm in South Africa following heavy rain.
The crocodiles sprung from the Rakwena Crocodile Farm in the far north of the country when owners were forced to open the gates to prevent a storm surge after the nearby Limpopo river rose.
A number have since been recaptured, but at least half remain on the loose, scattered far and wide.
“We’ve been recapturing them as and when the local farmers phone us to tell us that there are crocodiles on their property,” said Zane Langman, the son-in-law of Johan Boshoff, who owns Rakwena.
He added the most of the recapturing efforts were taking place at night.
Crocodiles are apparently easier to catch at night because their eyes shine red in the dark. More

Blind, deaf dog makes his way home after fall into sewer

Tippy the Shih Tzu went for a rather unusual walk Tuesday morning near his southwest Omaha home, a journey that left his family shaking their heads. The owner, Albert Armendariz, said he absolutely couldn`t believe his eyes when 14-year-old Tippy disappeared down a storm sewer drain in front of their house at 7906 S. 136th St. during his morning bathroom break. Armendariz said he was with the dog outside about 8 a.m. when it suddenly slipped into a sewer opening on the street. The dog landed about 5-feet below street level, just out of reach. At first, Tippy stayed right by the sewer opening while Armendariz talked to him and waited for help. Tippy, meanwhile, decided to try and find his own way out and began wandering along a 24-inch sewer pipe that runs down 136th Street. The dog was nowhere in sight when a crew from the utility company arrived about 9:30 a.m. More

Dog with lion haircut causes panic

Norfolk – Although it was actually a uniquely groomed dog roaming loose, three callers to 911 on Tuesday reported a baby lion, the city of Norfolk said today.
Two calls came after 10 a.m. on Granby Street near the zoo and on Llewellyn Avenue.
About 1:20 p.m., another 911 caller reported seeing a baby lion on Colley Avenue at 50th Street.
“I’d like to report a lion sighting,” one caller said.
“Say that again?” a dispatcher replied.
In the call near the zoo, a woman said, “There was a lion that ran across the street – a baby lion. It was about the size of a Labrador retriever.”
Another caller said, “I don’t know if it got away from the zoo or what.”

Huge snake hitches ride on Qantas flight

A 9-foot python hitched a ride on the wing of a Qantas plane bound for Papua New Guinea, the Sydney Morning Herald reports.
Passengers on board noticed the snake tucked into the wing of the plane. As the plane soared higher into windier and colder weather, the snake struggled against the elements.
“I felt quite sad for it, really,” said one passenger. “For the remainder of the flight, he was trying to pull himself back into the plane, even though he was fighting against 400km/h winds.
The cabin crew told us that at cruising altitude, it was minus 12 degrees outside — but not even that was able to finish him.
” University of Sydney snake expert Rick Shine reportedly identified the reptile as a scrub python, the longest snake in Australia. More

Christmas lights removed from inside dog

 England - A British woman said surgeons saved her 7-year-old dog`s life after he swallowed a foot-long string of Christmas lights. Sharon Fay, 45, of Southampton, England, said she became concerned when she spotted bits of wire sticking out of her mixed breed canine Charlie`s droppings. "I hadn`t even noticed that the lights had been chewed at this stage but it quickly became clear what had happened," Fay said. "Back in March he ate one of my scarves and needed an operation to remove it, but I thought it was just a one time incident as he hadn`t shown any signs that he was going to be a repeat offender. Veterinarians took an X-ray of Charlie`s stomach and discovered a foot-long string of Christmas lights and a shoelace. More

Cow stuck in frozen swimming pool

Germany – This poor cow was frozen when she fell into an iced over swimming pool and found she couldn’t get out.
The cow managed to make a brief break for freedom when the rest of her herd were being rounded up for the slaughterhouse.
However, her escape was thwarted when she slipped onto the icy pool and plunged in.
The startled owners of the pool called the police and fire brigade after realizing the cow was frozen fast. More

Hobbit`s visual effects leaves fans feeling sick

New Zealand - It was supposed to look incredible on screen - but The Hobbit has left many cinema-goers dizzy and nauseous. The film was shot in 3D and at a camera speed of 48 frames per second instead of the traditional 24, which is said to improve picture quality. But many of those who saw the world premiere of The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey in New Zealand said they felt disorientated and sick. One cinema-goer said it was like being on a rollercoaster, adding: "You have to hold your stomach down and let your eyes pop at first to adjust. This is not for wimps."

Schools Crack Down on Cheetos – Teachers patrol halls

USA – Teachers across several states are patrolling hallways searching for students in possession of snack food contraband but there’s one hot & spicy treat that is Enemy Number One – Flamin’ Hot Cheetos.
A spokesman for the Pasadena School system told Fox News that the ban was part of a district-wide wellness policy – and that most of the guidelines come from the federal government.
The teacher at Lyndon B. Johnson Middle School warned parents that Hot Cheetos are not only unhealthy but can also spread germs because the students share their Cheetos. More

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US Secret Service scared of big lizards

Thailand - United States Secret Service agents were taken aback on seeing large water monitors wandering the grounds of Government House during security inspections ahead of President Barack Obama`s visit. They mistook them for the ferocious, carnivorous komodo dragons found in parts of Indonesia, a Government House source said. Thai officials calmed their nerves, explaining to them the creatures are relatively harmless. Monitor lizards are commonly found at Government House as the compound is surrounded by canals. US embassy officials accompanying the team told the agents the reptiles could also be found at the US embassy office on Witthayu Road. More

Shark Falls From Sky Onto Golf Course

A shark has been rescued after it dropped out of the sky onto the 12th hole at a golf course in California.
San Juan Hills Golf Club operations director Melissa McCormack said a course marshal found the leopard shark writhing around on the course and brought it to the clubhouse.
There the two-foot long fish was placed into a bucket of water which was quickly salted by an employee who remembered that it would normally be found in seawater.
Cart attendant Bryan Stizer reportedly used his break to drive the shark back to the Pacific Ocean, about five miles away.
It is believed the shark had been snatched up by a large bird of prey, such as an osprey or peregrine falcon, which then lost its grip on its dinner. More

Thief runs off with hand bag - then returns it to owner

Jeremy Clark, 38, said he was at home in Maple Drive, Burgess Hill, when he spotted a fox making off with his wife`s handbag - then return it to her. He was preparing to go to hospital with his wife, Anna, 35, when the cunning carnivore made his move. "Next thing I knew he had my wife`s handbag in his mouth and was running towards the bushes." Jeremy screamed at the fox to drop the bag but he scuttled off out of sight. But a few minutes later the guilty looking fox crept back into the car park with his bushy tail between his legs. In his mouth was Anna`s bag which he dropped at her feet before running off. More

5-foot-long snake found in Texas jail

FORT WORTH, Texas – An unwelcome visitor at a North Texas jail has been freed by a reptile-friendly deputy.
Cpl. Mike McNicholas of the Tarrant County Sheriff’s Office helped remove the 5-foot-long rat snake from some overhead pipe space.
The Fort Worth Star-Telegram reported that an inmate at the county’s Greenbay jail facility had spotted the snake above his cell.
McNicholas blamed the nonvenomous snake for the inside job, saying the creature probably got into the jail through exhaust fans or air conditioning ducts. More

Pup Could be World`s Smallest Dog

Poland - Meet Meysi, a tiny Terrier from Poland who weighed just 1.58 ounces at her birth three months ago. Meysi`s owner, Anna Pohl of Jarocin, Poland, told her local newspaper she didn`t think her dog would make it and that it took all of Pohl`s strength to keep Meysi going. "The worst was the first six weeks," Pohl, who fed Mesyi with a syringe. "I got zero sleep. I was feeding her day and night, every half hour. Sometimes I ran out of strength, had to call out of work." Meysi grew to her current weight of 3.25 ounces but is not expected to grow much more, veterinarians tell Pohl. More